The Lonely
by lovbooks005
Summary: Hayley Death was alone for centuries. After coming across the Winter Spirit, it seems impossible to ever be alone again. As the Spirit of Death, she knew she had to stay alone to prevent hurting someone. But she can't seem to get rid of the stubborn Guardian. Secretly, maybe, just maybe, she doesn't want to be lonely anymore. (JackxOC) Disclaimer: I do NOT own ROTG.
1. Chapter 1

I cooed at the old man, caressing his cheek. He was struggling for breath, but he was out of it. This is the worst part.

"It'll be over soon," I whisper, smoothing down his gray hair and placing my hand over his heart.

He stared at me with horror and shock. When people meet death, they don't expect to be actually _meeting Death._ But that's who I am, that's all I'll ever be. No matter how many times I try to escape that fact.

My throat burns as I begin to hum a tune. Around my hand that is still placed on his heart, images of his life begin to float around. Good and bad. Tragic and hopeful. It's the least I can do, after all. Giving them a last chance to see life.

"_Death is unspoken, but can repair the broken," _I sing quietly, my voice barely audible.

All the memories of the old man disappear instantly. He croaks something but I cannot hear it. Feeling guilty in my stone heart, I take off my hood to my cloak, revealing my face. He reaches up and grabs the end of my hair, that is pulled into a braid and rests over my shoulder. As he touches it, his eyes roll to the back of his head.

I squeeze my eyes shut. Tears threaten, but I don't dare let them fall. The worst part about death is witnessing it. No. The worst part is _being _it. My eyes open.

I gently take his hand, resting it on his abdomen, taking the other and placing it on top. My hand touches his forehead, sliding down and shutting his eyes.

I decide to let him be in peace, let his wife or children find him the next morning. My work is done, I shouldn't have to carry the weight of others. I did what I had to do, and now I leave.

Taking one last look at the man, I put my hood back on, jumping out the window. Another innocent soul gone, isn't my job fabulous?

I was flying. Through time, through space. My body was so cold, so rigid. It scared me, beyond belief. My perfect world was shattered, and it can't be fixed.

I was cold. I was shallow and frozen. My heart, so cold, so lonely. My soul, broken. The Spirit of Death had been broken, and I just want to be fixed. Wanted to be save. Wanted to . . . _feel something._

After spending centuries of witnessing people on the death beds, feeling them take their last breath, I was tired. Tired not only of seeing people die, or being alone, just of _everything._

Alas, I live forever. So never once can I sleep. Death is too important to delay. People don't understand the importance of dying. Without death, the mortals won't survive.

While walking away from the old man's house, I instantly appear in Burgess, still walking. I liked it there. There was always that feeling of coldness, all year round. Even in the summer. It kind of reminded me of myself. My feet drag me to an isolated part of the woods.

There laid an abandon house. The boards are cracked, windows are broken. The roof had holds and the stairs in side are fragile. I learned that the hard way. I drag myself up the stairs, into a room that has all four walls and no windows.

Huddled in a corner, I bring my knees to my chest, awaiting the next life to which I'll have to end. Dying, I have discovered, isn't as easy as it seems.

**(A/N) This is my first fanfic, so please, No hate. I don't know whether I should continue or not, so….**

**Until next time! (Maybe)**

**-Julissa**


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes open to the sound of laughter. I wasn't sleeping, but now I really wished I had. My back feels sore.

The laughter grows louder as I stand up and stretch. Too loud for my liking. I walk out the abandon house, searching for the source, failing miserably.

It seems to travel. But it remains in one place, if that makes any sense. While walking through the trees, I hear a faint voice.

" . . . _please, be careful before . . ." _the voice sort of fades away after that.

But I can still tell I am getting closer. There's a feeling, and it becomes stronger. I'm able to feel it. Something tells me it's not the left behind souls at the graveyard again. Something tells me this voice is alive, but at the same time not.

More laughter.

Then a shriek. Memories flash in my mind of people having fun, but it ends tragically. I slow my pace, closing my eyes and resting a hand against a tree to steady myself. "No," I whimper.

A wave of distress flashes over me. I hear a distinct wail and I shake my head. This can't be another death. It just can't. It feels to familiar.

"_NO!" _ Someone screams, shaking me out of my thoughts. "_No! Don't do this to me, please! Wake up, Emma! Please!"_

I widen my eyes. Instantly, I run to the person in aid, but I can't see anyone. No one is in sight. Who is screaming? Obviously someone is hurt. Or worse.

I shudder at the thought. Sure, I've spent years being Death. But that doesn't mean I'm used to it. I open my eyes and continue walking. The wails intensified as I stopped in a certain area. Then, as I take a step forward, I see a women kneeling next to a girl.

Who isn't moving.

The lady and the girl share their hair, the color of chocolate. But as I take a closer look, the women has green eyes while the girl has hazel. The older of the two has the girl resting in her arms, gently shaking her head. But I can sense no life radiating of the girl.

"_No!"_ The women sobs, burying her face in the child's chest.

I shake my head, taking a step back. As soon as I do, the two disappear. Replacing them is just snow. Sitting against a tree and closing my eyes, I begin to wonder who that girl was.

I realized, after I registered the fact that that. . . _event . . ._ was just a memory, I had traveled far from the abandon house. Farther than I expected. Teleporting there would take up to much energy. Debating between walking all the way back or just waiting for a death in my head, I decided upon the latter.

But I couldn't just do nothing. I finally had some freedom that I haven't had in years. I should at least take advantage of it. Pushing myself off the ground, I leaned against the tree, shivering at the cold.

I walked away from the tree, wandering around for a bit. Instantly I wish I was a Nature Freak so I could at least entertain myself. Though in a way, I kind of am. Death is apart of nature, right?

If death does matter, why am I not rewarded for it? Easy. No one like a killer. Technically, and I've argued this many, _many,_ times, I'm not the cause of the death. I'm just the spirit that sends the soul off.

Most of the time, I'm not even sure how my magic really works. Sometimes, its beyond my control. I'm lucky if I don't send a poor sucker into the Unknown by accident. And those times that I did, were accidents.

Most times.

As my fingers graze icicles that hang from a tree above me, I remember the last conversation I had. And it was with a human. A boy, actually.

I remember his mother had a heart attack, and she was hanging by a thread on their kitchen floor. I stood over her, and I wince as I try to think of what the boy was thinking when he first saw me.

I would have gone nuts if a teenaged girl stood over my mother who just so happened to be lying on the floor gasping for air.

But the point was that he _saw _me. He didn't shrink back or scream. He just sort of looked at me with curiosity, head cocked slightly to the left as he stared at a stranger.

While looking at him look at me, I almost forgot about his dying mother. As soon as possible, I kneeled next to her and place my hand of her heart, giving her a last glimpse of life, before I said two simple words. Her body went limp, and I had almost left without being noticed.

But since kids have can't focus on one thing for more then two minutes, the boy said, "Is she. . . _dead?"_

I turned and saw him nudge his mother with his foot.

"Yeah," I croaked, slightly amazed at how well he handled it. "She is."

"Well, what should I do next?" He stared up at me, blinking.

I was stunned.

"Call the police. Call your father, someone. Tell them your mom is dead."

"My father's dead. Do you know the cop's number?" He said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

I felt guilty. I had taken his parents away. He was too young to understand back then, but surely he had remembered the girl that took away his parents.

Turning to his mother, he reached in her pocket and retrieved a cell phone. Before turning back to me, I could've swore I heard him say, "Thanks, mom."

"Uh, nine-one-one," I told him as he dialed the number.

I waited with him while it rang. When he heard someone say _hello?_ the boy didn't let the operator finish the respectful statement. He right away said, "My mother is dead on our kitchen floor," nonchalantly. He nodded as the operator spoke and flicked a speck of dust off his shirt.

While the boy was occupied, I ran out his house.

That memory is still so vivid now. I probably won't forget the Boy Who Didn't Care His Parents Died.

I smiled when I remembered how calm he was.

As I pressed my palm against a frosted tree, I knew the person that did this.

Non other than Jack Frost.

"Well, seems like you're admiring my art work," A cocky voice behind me spoke, and I could just picture the smirk.

I froze.

Speak of the devil.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't want to turn around. At all. But I knew I couldn't teleport back to the abandon house. And if I ran for it, he would fly after me.

Since I had nothing to lose, I turned around anyway.

I was right. Jack Frost _was_ smirking, and leaning against his staff. He was rather pleased someone had tooken interest in his frosted work of art. But he had it all wrong. I wasn't _admiring _it, as he had put it. Can't someone look at something without having to love it?

"No," I said, but I doubt he heard it.

"Didn't seem like it,"

I didn't smile. I just wanted to get out of here. Why can't someone die already?

"Who are you anyway? I mean, obviously you're no human," Jack Frost said.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, you're around, what? Sixteen years old? Only believers see me, and last I heard, teenagers can't be believers."

I crossed my arms, slightly annoyed at this boy.

"Why stereotype all teenagers?"

Jack Frost stepped closer before saying, "You're ignoring my question,"

I sighed, and unfolded my arms, letting them fall to my side. "Hayley. Hayley Death."

He paused for effect, before cocking his head to the side. "As in the Spirit of Death?"

I was kind of taken back. I've hear word that Jack didn't usually catch on quick. Though, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Hayley Death obviously had to deal with something relating to death.

"Yeah," I whisper.

Neither of us talk for a while, but when he does, he swings his staff around swiftly, therefore resting it on his shoulder. "So, tell me," Jack Frost began. "Why is it, the most important Spirit of all, standing here, and not killing anyone?"

A scowl escapes my mouth. "I don't _kill_ anyone. I send them where they go,"

"If you don't kill them, who does?" For a second I actually believe he's geniunely curious. Just for a second.

"Different things or people. Trust me, I don't kill people, I-"

"Let me guess," Blue eyes meet mine. "You 'end their suffering'? Heard that one, _lots of times_,"

I roll my eyes. I didn't want to admit, but Frosty the Snowman here was right. That's what I would've told him. Is it true? I have yet to know. "Look, I need to go-"

"Aww, the party is over already?" He cuts me off again, ending his question with a laugh.

I couldn't think of a comeback.

"I'm joking,"

"Didn't know you were the Joker too," I mutter, walking away, before I was hit in the back with a snowball.

"Lighten up! Will I see you again?"

I ignore his comment and keep walking. Jack Frost was the most arrogant person in the world.

Yet somehow, I was intrigued by it.

. . .

So many things raced through my mind when night fell. When I started this day, I didn't expect to have a strange vision from the past, and officially meet Jack Frost.

Even after sending over twenty four people off today, he remained on my mind the whole time. I didn't know why. There was a strange feeling when I thought about him. I didn't know why.

Maybe I'm just stressed. That must be it. I mean, besides Jack Frost, my thoughts always trailed back to that girl. I didn't know whether she was dead or unconscious, but I decided one the more morbid therory.

She looked vaugely familiar. I've seen her somewhere, other then the Sending. Maybe I came across her village a few times before she died.

I shake my head.

Perhaps I saw someone who looked like her.

I shake my head again.

I _knew_ her.

My head ached from thinking so much. But, I couldn't help but think about her.

Sighing, I looked up at the moon.

"Manny," I began as my lip quivered. "_Why_ me? Out of all people. Why couldn't you just send me away?" My gray eyes fill with tears. "Tell me why! You just made it worse! I could've forgotten, but you made it impossible!"

Quickly, my sorrow turns to anger. I fall to me knees.

"You knew I couldn't handle it, and yet you still did it! You knew, that it could've ended right there, but you made me immortal! I wanted it to be over! I _still want_ it to be over!"

My shoulders shake with grief. For the first time in forever, I broke.

Tears streamed down my face.

My heart was overwhelmed.

My mind was confused.

My soul was injured.

_I was broken._

He knew. He knows. I just wish he would've let me die instead. It sounds so much better then this right now. He said I could handle it, but he was wrong.

He could've picked somone else. So, why didn't he? Nothing about me was special.

Just because I was killed by a Spirit, _doesn't_ make me special.

**(A/N) Hoped you liked it!**

**-Julissa**


	4. (AN) Important!

**Hi guys, sorry I haven't updated. I've been experiencing some writers block.**

**I know how Hayley died and who killed her, I'm just not ready to say yet.**

**If you have any advice for me I would love to hear it. Sorry... again.**

**-Julissa**


	5. (AN)

**Hi! So I have chapter four written, but I'm at my mom's house until Monday and she doesn't have a computer. I'm writing this on my tablet, but it's not the best writing app. So as soon as I go back to my dad's house, I will post the new chapter!**

**P.S. Thanks to everyone who gave me suggestions for chapter four, and a special thanks to EverlastingFlower96!**

**-Julissa**


	6. Chapter 4

I remember I came back from the school house, walking into out little cottage and kicking snow off my boots. "Mother!" I had called, waiting for a reply. "Mother, where are you?"

Nothing. I began to worry at that point. Mother _always _answered me. Why hadn't she then?

There was a muffled shout coming from her room upstairs, followed by a strangled cry. I thought she was in pain, maybe she had fallen.

"Mother, is something wrong?" I stood at the bottom of the steps.

I should've moved back then, ran into her room at that moment. But something in the back of my mind shouted for me to get out. For me to run. And I should've listened. And I bet I would've, if I knew I was flirting with death as I walked up those stairs.

I peered into her room, slowly creeping the door open. "Mother, are you okay?"

She kneeled beside her bed, hair sticking to her face due to the moisture tears left behind. I walked toward her, sitting on the bed and embracing her. "Shhh! What's wrong?" I asked her.

She didn't respond. Instead, she gasped for air as if she were suffocating on the inside. I softly moved her raven hair out of her face. Mother tried to tell me something, warn me, but I couldn't understand.

"What?" I asked, confused.

Her whole body shook and she whimpered. Mother looked up at me and caressed my cheek. "R-r-run," She whispered, before her body was engulfed in flames.

I had jumped back, startled at what had happened. I blinked once. Twice.

Back then, I had experience a series of nightmares, swallowed into darkness every night, unable to escape it. I cried every night, trying to convince myself it wasn't real.

But I really hoped that was a nightmare.

Needless to say, it wasn't.

I stared at where she was just at. Her body was no longer there, and I peered over the side of the bed. All there was were a scattered pile of ashes.

I wanted to scream, but it was stuck in my throat.

I wanted to cry, but my eyes were suddenly dry.

I tried to even my breathing.

Then I heard a bitter laugh, and I froze.

It was behind me, and I was scared to turn around. But when I did, there stood a girl around my age, clapping slowly, a twisted smile plastered on her face.

Her hair was a crisom red.

Her clothes were different. Bright warm colors that no one wore back then.

But what scared me the most, was the fact that embers of fire floated around her.

She blinked before walking toward me. I backed up against the head board of the bed, feeling the cold wood through my thin dressed pressed against my back. "Shh, it's okay," She had whispered.

I wanted to trust her. I did. Her words sounded so gentle and sincere. But I knew something was wrong.

"W - who are you?" I stuttered.

She grinned, showing her white teeth. "I'm your one way ticket out of this messed up world."

I scrunched my nose up in confusion. "Huh?"

She chuckled. "Oh dear! I thought you would've been smarter, _Hayley,_"

I shruddered. She spoke my name with venom.

"How do you know me?" I spoke with little confidence.

"That's not important. But just know, I don't do good things just because. I'm doing this to help you. Don't worry, you'll be in a better place, just like your mother. Maybe you'll thank me,"

She turned away.

I didn't know what she was going to do, but I needed to know one thing.

"Oh," The girl turned to me, stopping at the door frame. "I'm Ember, Spirit of Summer,"

And with the flick of her wrist, she set the room on fire.

I gasped and heard the door shut. Ember was gone and I was alone again.

The fire crept along the walls, onto the ceiling and covering the door. I screamed loudly, my throat burned as I did.

Tears stung my eyes as the fire spread onto the bed, and I jumped off, falling to the floor and just laying there.

I knew it was the end, no bother in trying to deny it.

But little did I know, it was completely over for me.

No, MiM had plans for me.

Slowly, by each passing second, I began to lost consciousness.

And I had let the flames take me away.

I shruddered at the memory, opening my eyes and looking at the glow the moon sent through the window in a room of the abandon house.

Everyone thinks Manny does stuff for a reason, that he's never wrong.

But I believe that he made a huge mistake.

He should have let me die. But he didn't.

. . .

A thirteen year old girl commuted suicide, and I couldn't help her.

I have experienced many suicides in my time, but they always made me feel guilty. These people wanted to be saved, and I can't help them.

The laws of Nature won't let me. I've tried countless times, I've even tried to give them another life, but it's strictly forbidden. "Messes with the balance," Mother Nature had explained to me once.

But I still don't understand.

Sure, I've tried to commit suicide, if it counts for Spirits. But after the eighth time, Manny had did something so I can't.

Over the years, watching the people and realizing why they did, I had learned that suicide is just a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

I sat against a tree, my hands embedded in the snow. If I were a human, I would've gotten frostbite a million times. I guess being immortal does have one advantage.

My body stiffened up as a snowball hit my head.

Unfortunately, meeting Jack Frost is not an advantage.

"Hayley!" He exclaimed, flying over to me and gracefully falling to his feet. "How's it going?"

I looked up at him. "It was good, until you showed up."

He put a hand to his heart, putting on a sad face. "You break my heart,"

I rolled my eyes.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be making snow days or something?"

Jack smirked. "Shouldn't you be killing people?"

"For the last time, I don't kill people,"

He leaned against his staff. "Sorry, shouldn't you be ending their suffering?" Jack mocked.

"Not in the mood," I murmued, standing up and walking away.

"Wait!" He suddenly appeared in front of me. "Why do you always cut our lovely conversations short?"

"Why do you always show up?"

He shrugged before saying, "Most people say I'm curious, others say I'm annoying."

"I'm pretty sure it's the latter."

Jack gave a grin.

"Want to go somewhere?"

He kicked snow casually, looking down.

"What?"

"I'm bored, you're boring, let's changed that," He looked up, giving me a devious smile.

"I'm not going anywhere, I have things to do,"

Jack cupped one of his ear, pretending to listen. "I'm don't hear anyone dying, let's go!"

Before I could even think, he snaked an arm around my waist and shot up into the air.

I screamed at the sudden rush and buried my face into his blue hoodie. Jack chuckled and landed on a roof, letting me go. As soon as I stepped back from him, I started to angrily punch him. "I hate you!" I yelled.

He dropped his staff gently and grabbed my wrist whilst still laughing. "And all this time I thought you loved me," Jack joked.

I scowled. "Get me off this roof now!"

"Nope," Jack shook his head. "We have to at least have a friendly conversation before I let you go,"

I'm screwed.

Irritated, I sit on the roof, letting my legs dangle off. He sits next to me, setting his staff to which I think he retrieved behind him. I cross my arms, turning away from him.

Jack sighed, and I glanced at him seeing him smile at me.

"Well?" He asked.

I faced him. "Well what?"

"Are you going to say something or not?"

A bitter laugh escapes my throat. "No, I want to leave."

"We had a deal," He interjects.

"We didn't shake on it," I point out.

"Fine, since you have no intention, I'll get a conversation going."

I arch an eyebrow at him.

He mimics me and I almost laugh. Almost.

"If people die all the time, how come you're not like really busy?" His voice sounds genuine.

I decide to answer after a serious debate in my head. "I only help the people that want to be saved."

"What do you mean, Hayley?"

This might be strange, but I like it when he says my name.

"People that want to be saved. Like, they didn't want to die but they have no choice. No many people want to be saved, but enough to keep me busy sometimes."

Jack nods understandly.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" He stares out at the setting sun.

"Why aren't you making snow days every minute, because it's obvious that's what you want to do,"

"Well, Manny told me I'm not allowed it do it. So he only let's me a few times a year. But you're right, I would love to do it every minute of the day."

I laugh. The first time in I don't know how long.

"I've never heard you laugh before, it's nice." Jack stares into my eyes.

I didn't realize how beautiful and mesmerizing his eyes are.

"You have pretty eyes," I whisper before I can stop myself.

Jack breaks out into a wide smile. "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship!" He declares, and I don't bother to deny it.

. . .

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I decided to add the second part do I took a little more time. Hope you like chapter four and I would really appreciate suggestions for next chapter.**

**-Julissa**


	7. Chapter 5

"So what's it like seeing people take their last breath?" Jack casually asked me, towing a snowball at a nearby pedestrian. I shrugged.

"It's not exciting if that's what you are thinking,"

"No!" He says sarcastically, facing me. "But your so thrilling!"

I punched his arm slightly, grinning.

"Yeah, well not everyone can have a fun job like yours,"

"As the Guardian of Fun, I promise to make that happen."

I shook my head. Jack always makes promises but never keeps them. It had been a week since I met him, but I knew Jack Frost enough.

I sit against the statue Jack stands on in the middle of Burgess. It's made of metal, so most of it has icicles hanging from it. "I'm totally going to hate it when Ember comes and melts all my snow," He tells me while launching another snowball at a random stranger. I stiffen up at the mention of her name, but don't say anything.

After a minute, I realized he was waiting for a reoly.

I clear my throat before saying, "Doesn't Rose melt the snow?"

"Some of it. But she's nice enough to leave somesome for me. But it's Ember that always melts it completely, not matter how many times I tried to convince her. That girl gets on my nerves."

_Mines too,_ I want to say, but I don't want him to get suspicious.

"You don't get along with her?" I ask him.

"Huh? Oh yeah, when it's not Summer or Winter."

"Oh," I kind of feel sad after he says that, but I shrug it off and stand up, turning to face him. "Well this has been nice but I got to go."

"Yeah, I should go too. I have to go to Canada for a few days- a week the most - to give them some snow too. So, I'll see you when I get back." A snowball appears in his hand and he tosses it in his hand.

"Don't bother throwing that at me, or I'll end your life." I warn him, talking a step back.

"I thought you said you don't kill people,"

"I'll make an exception, I'm sure Manny has no problem with it anyway,"

"Come on, Hayley, just once? I'm going to be gone for a week and I doubt I'll see another Death Spirit who gets annoyed by me,"

"Sounds like a personal problem!" I say, already walking away.

Being the immature Guardian he is, Jack throws the snowball and laughs before flying off and yelling goodbye.

I scowl and in the blink of an eye, stand in front of a small, yellow house. Chaos and screams and cries can be heard from inside.

Here we go again.

. . .

I decide to walk back and enjoy the sceneary. It seems beautiful in a way. The snow that Jack made melts slowly, but a small part of the woods still has a blanket of snow. He had once told me about a lake being frozen all year long, but I never had an intention on actually seeing it myself. Even though I should, I don't want to.

Not to mention, I have no idea where the lake is, so Jack will have to show me. It's not like I'm missing out on anything, right?

The moon isn't full today, and it's covered by clouds. I sigh. "Maybe you can't hear me, but that's still no excuse to send me here without an explanation." I tell him, hoping he could actually hear me.

But MiM doesn't talk to anyone but the Guardians. And sometimes he doesn't even say everything.

But at least he talks to them. And that's all I want right now. For at least communication. And the Guardians are the only ones who can give it too me.

Though, I have bad history with them. And Jack was the only one who actually believed me, and he's currently in Canada right now, spreading snow on the ground for children to play in.

I give up, knowing there's no point in reaching for the stars when I don't have wings to carry me that far. I pull my cloak tighter around my shoulders, shivering.

My mind trails off and I think about how it felt when Jack said my name. It had been a long time since anyone had ever said my name, and it felt good to hear it again. And something about it felt so _right. _I know it had been a long time since I've actually talked to anyone for more than a few minutes, but I felt like there was a reason Jack came across me that one day.

And I think I even smile, just thinking about it.

But then, it happens again.

"_. . . I told you not to go back to that lake, Emma!" _

I blink, and I'm standing in a cottage, seeing a woman yelling at a child.

"_I had to look for him! There's still hope! We can't just let him go," _She yelled back at the woman, who I suspect is her mother. I stand right behind the girl, and realized her chocolate brown hair looks familiar.

_"He's gone, Emma! The sooner you accept that, the better! It's time to move on-"_

_"I'm not going to forget Jackson, mother!" _

_"I didn't say that-"_

_"But you were implying it!"_

_"You need to move on. We all did," _The mother says in a suddenly calm voice.

"_No!"_ Emma shrieked, startling me. "_He promised everything will be alright, and he _never_ breaks his promises._" She glares at her mother, before walking out of a door and slamming it shut.

I hear a sniffle, and instantly, I advert my attention back to the woman, seeing her sit on a chair, burying her head in her hands. For a second, I think of comforting her, but my hand will probably go through her. Her shoulders shake and she releases a sob. Her whole body quakes with sorrow.

I can't help but feel it too.

And just like that, I'm back in the woods in Burgess.

So many things run through my mind. I knew that was a memory. I don't remember actually being there when it happened. Usually when I see people it's because they are dying, or I pass by.

The moons gains my attention, and I see it not covered by clouds but still not full. I squint my eyes in confusion.

Is MiM trying to tell me something? And if he is, what?


	8. Chapter 6

I faintly remember the first time I met Pitch Black. He was cold, I was cold. He was dark, I was dark. He was alone, I was alone. It seemed like he could've been my father. Though there was something off about him, that scared me.

Pure darkness radiated off him. And I knew I was nothing like him.

But my conversation with him, was so real, so sincere. And we were inseparateable. And it all went downhill with a few simple words.

"To be strong, you must let go," He hissed in my ear that one very day.

"What do you mean?"I had asked, too naive back then.

"Your attached to your past life too much. And it's blocking who you truly are, Hayley."

"So you're saying I need to forget?"

"No," Pitch took a dramatic pause. "You must erase what is left."

"And what's that?" I tilted my head to the side in curiosusity. "What's left?"

"Let's be honest, Hayley. The moment you died, Hayley Miller ceased to exist. You were reborn and made into Hayley Death. But it seems your guilt and memories live on. You could be a legend-"

"But you know that I'm not meant to be here," I snapped. "You know I was at the wrong place, at the wrong time. I'm not meant to be known, I'm Death! You aren't supposed to believe in Death-"

"But don't you wish it were true?" Pitches voice had soften. But I could still sense the annoyance in it. "Four hundred years of people not believing in you. Doesn't that hurt?"

He was trying to manipulate me, I knew it.

"I'd rather have people not believe in me, then fear me."

He seemed to have lost it at that point.

"You don't get it, Hayley! I know what it's like to live in shadows-"

"And yet you don't do anything to change it!"

"Because I _can't_! You can't! It's our nature and you can't change it-"

"No, you _won't!_" My voice had boomed so loudly I can still hear the ringing. "But I refuse to let my title get the better of me,"

I had walked out on him, left him alone with him calling my name. Did I regret it? No. Do I wished I accepted his offer? I don't know. But I do know, I wasn't going to erase the only thing that made me realize I'm not a lost cause.

. . .

"Hey, Hayley!" I turned to look up and saw Jack land right beside me. He swung his staff and rested it on his shoulder. "Where have you been?"

I wanted to be smart and say a quirky comment, but I realize he meant where has my job carried me the past few days. I'm glad because I might have been embarrassed if I didn't think twice about that question. But, I don't want to talk anyway.

"I'm not in the mood, Jack." I mutter, trying to get him to leave. I miserably fail.

"What's wrong? Did you run out of magic death dust?" He jokes, but I know he's concerned.

"Can you please leave me alone for a while?"

"Why?" He laughs. "Did I do something?"

"No, I just want to be alone."

"No one wants to be alone," He tells me, grinning.

"Some people don't have a choice," I shoot back.

Jack stands in front of me, causing me to stop walking. "Woah! Calm down," He raises his free hand in surrender. "Tell me what's the matter,"

I sigh in defeat. "The matter, Jack, is I'm meant to stay alone. It was nice the first few days, but now. . ." I didn't want to finish, and I hope Jack can catch on quick.

"You're being to dramatic. Come on, let's go pelt kids with snowballs and you'll forget all about this," Jack offered, and I was thankful for a distraction. But I just shook my head.

"No, I'm meant to be alone. I can't have fun with you-"

"And why not?"

"Because I'm not fun! Okay? I'm a lost cause and I'm not even supposed to be here now! I was at the wrong place at the wrong time, and it was all a mistake!"

"Manny doesn't make mistakes,"He says, a serious tone to his voice.

"Thanks for reminding me! As if I don't already know that!"

"Well apparently you don't, Hayley!"

"I don't want to know, Jack! But sometimes things don't turn out the way you want them too."

You don't think I know that?" He scoffs, shaking his head. "I've lived three hundred years of no believers, no communication to MiM, and I had no idea who I was,"

"And now look at you, Jack. Didn't things turn out exactly as wanted?"

"Seriously?" He shoots me a dirty look.

"Look, I can't be your friend. Because I'm dangerous, and who knows what I'm capable of? Death is sacred, and is supposed to be unspoken,"

"Who says? Because it's not true! You're not dangerous! You don't have to be alone-"

"It's my nature, Jack!" I shout. I feel like a hypocrite. I've reached my limit, and it's gonna take a while to calm myself. "This is the way it's supposed to be. And if it's how it is going to be for he rest of my life, better get used to it."

"Who says this is the way it's supposed to be?" Jack lowers his voice.

"Who doesn't?" I give a weak laugh.

"But they don't decide for you."

His icy blue eyes stare into mine, and I feel the strange urge to get lost into them, to let him cradle me in his arms and tell me everything's all right. But that's never going to happen. It can _never _happen. I shake my head, getting rid of the thoughts.

"I'm the type of person who doesn't get to decide, Jack. I don't like it, but it's not my choice."

I feel like I've won the argument after he says nothing, but at the same time I know I've lost too.

. . .

After. . . _that _. . . I teleport to a small brick house in the middle of town. Apparently, a little boy is having problems with his heart, and he can't breathe. I appear inside, seeing an older woman run around frantically, talking quickly into a phone. I walk into the living room, seeing a boy collapsed on the floor, gasping for air.

I kneel next to him, and ignore the excruciating pain as the woman walks through me. I placed my hand of his heart, seeing him his worst and best memories. As I watch some of them, two particular scenes catch my eye. In the first one, there's a man, who lays on the floor in a pool of blood. Then there's a woman, gasping for air on the kitchen floor.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, and take a long look at the boy.

My heart leaps.

He looks at me and whispers, "It's you,"

I jump back, not finishing my task. And instantly, the memories fade into thin air, and his eyelids drop. The woman starts screaming and crying and yelling all at once.

She drops the phone and grabs his body.

I shut my eyes tight, and walk out the small, once innocent house in shame.

. . .

After I had sent The Boy Who Didn't Care His Parents Died, into the Unknown, I knew what bad luck I had. It seemed like everyone I'm around, I hurt them.

And I'm not putting Jack through that.

**(A/N) Sorry it took so long. Had some writers block these past few days. I would love to hear any suggestions! I don't know about this, but I'm thinking about having Jack and/or Hayley tell each other about their pasts. What do you think about that? **

**And on Saturday, I saw ROTH at Walmart, and I begged my mom to get it for me, but she didn't!**

**There hasn't been much Jack in here, but trust me: there will. ;) **

**Hoped you liked it!**

**-Julissa **


	9. Chapter 7

_"He's gone, and he's not coming back!"_

_"No he's not! He's still here! Whether you like it or not he will always be with us!"_

I rub my temples and close my eyes. The yelling was excruciating.

_"Listen to your mother!" _Another voice chimes in. _"He's gone! Okay? Jackson is gone and he won't be back! So stop trying to talk to him, stop trying to go back to the lake; He's _gone,_ Emma!" _

It's been going on for a month, now. Become more and more often. I lean against a tree, sliding down. Manny still hasn't answered me. Although, when does he ever? It was useless to ask, but it's important. And I need an answer. A clue. Anything.

_"Just because you let him go, doesn't mean I have to also!" _Emma crosses her arms and begins to walk away.

_"Come back here, young lady!" _The father yells. He turns to the mother.

_"She's too stubborn, just like _him," She cries, and he embraces her.

_"She'll have to learn."_

_"She's not going to forget though,"_

_"We're not asking her too,"_

_"Yes we are!" _She looks up at him, eyes red and puffy. _"Imagine if it were any different! You know Jackson would be visiting her grave and talking like she were still alive!"_

_"That's the scary part. They ar- _were _so close that they can't act like the other is gone forever."_

_"And- and- and- I'm such a bad mother! I shouldn't have let them gone ice skating! I knew spring was coming! I knew the ice was thinning, but I let them go, and I let him go, too!" _

_"It was either him or he-"_

I stand up abruptly, hands covering my ears. I want to scream at that moment. The memories seem so realistic, it's like I'm trapped in them. I can feel their grief and sorrow. I can feel _everything._

My ears ring, and I let my hands fall to my sides. Someone is around.

I scoop up a handful of snow, trying to form a snowball, but it falls apart. Summer is in a month and it's getting harder to find snow now. Nonetheless, I try again. It will break, but it's all I got.

All I got. I laugh at myself. I'm the most dangerous spirit and the only weapon I have is a _snowball?_

"Who's there?" I call. There's no reply, so I ask aagin.

"Come on, Claude! He's around here somewhere!"

I froze.

"How can you be so sure? We haven't seen him since, what? A week before New Years?"

"He's here! I mean, look at this snow. What other place would still have snow when Summer is a few weeks away?"

I looked around. No one was here. Maybe this is another hallucination.

"Florida, Californi-" I see a flash of brown hair run around, followed by a yellow baseball cap.

"Where Jack Frost is, that's where!"

Jack Frost? Why would two kids be looking for Jack?

Then it hit me.

Literally. I turned around and saw two boys running in my direction, but they past through me and I almost fell over. I hated that feeling that ran through me whenever non-believers past through me. It was the feeling of loneliness. And longing.

"Jack! Jack!" The more confident of the two called, cupping his hands over his mouth. "Hey, Jack Frost!"

I was about to tell them, he's in Europe, but decide to leave them alone. I turned to walk away, when I felt a familiar rush of coldness and I stopped.

"What are you guys doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

My mind yells at me to run, or hide behind a tree, but my feet don't cooperate. "It's Spring Break, Jack, duh," I can just image the eye roll the boy is giving him. Finally I sprint behind a tree.

"Sorry, because it hasn't been over 300 years since I've been in school," He finishes his sentence with suspicion in his voice. He knows I'm here.

"Well who's fault is that? Certainly not m-"

"Hang on, Jamie," He stops the boy- Jamie, I'm assuming- from talking, and I sense him walk toward the tree I'm hiding behind. I will myself to disappear.

Apparently, I can't. Out of the corner of my eue, I see Jack's blue eyes appear in front of me. "Hayley?"

I put on an embarrassed smile and wave. "Hi,"

Jamie and the other boy rush to Jack's side, being the nosy little kids they are. I give them a small smile, and start to wave at them. "Jack, who are you talking too?" I let my hand drop. Right. They can't see me. Awkward.

Jack scratches the back of his neck, and lays his staff on the ground. He mutters, "Give me a minute," before turning to the kids.

"Okay," He claps his hands. "What if I told you guys there was someone responsible for Death?"

They stare at him, dumbfounded.

Jamie shakes himself out of his haze. "Wait, so someone who kills-"

"No!" I yell, but they don't hear me. I cross my arms.

Jack glances at me. "No, someone who sends people away."

"Away to where?" The other- I think it was Claude- asks.

"Umm. . ." Jack looks at me for help.

"Where they belong." I say.

He scoffs. "Yeah, that's gonna help them. They're like eleven."

"Well that's what I was told," I shoot back. Jack rolls his eyes, and repeats to them what I told him.

"Where do they belong?" Claude scratches his nose.

"Uh, that's hard to explain."

"So you're saying that he's-" Jamie begins , but Jack corrects him.

"She,"

"Sorry," Jamie apologizes, and looks to the side of Jack I'm not on. But I still smile a little. "_She's _here?" Both me and Jack nod.

"Well, since we don't believe in her now, Jack, you're gonna have to help us." Claude and Jamie sit on the ground, and Jack chuckles.

I sit down across from Claude. Jack gives me an 'are-you-serious?' look, and I shrug. "Might as well," I explain, and he looks surprised.

"What?" I ask.

"Just thought you weren't fun," He sits next to me.

"You of all people should know whether or not I'm fun,"

Jack raises his hands in surrender.

"Uh, two people are trying to believe over here." Jamie says.

"Um, okay. Jamie, Claude. What do you want to know?" Jack asks them. Claude speaks first.

"What's she look like?"

Jack smiles, and I know he's gonna have fun with this.

"She's beautiful," He whispers, looking at me, and I shift uncomfortably, but smile anyway.

"Uh, lover boy," Jamie teases. "Be more descriptive," He snaps his fingers in Jack's face and the Guardian turns red. Claude laughs and rolls over on his stomach, digging his elbows in the ground and resting his head on his hands.

"She has brown hair," Jack tells them. "And these unique, grey eyes. Her button nose is so cut-"

"Woah!" They say in unison.

"First of all, how can a nose be cute?" Claude says, surprising very interested in an answer for his question.

"And we just wanted to know the basics. Not every single detail on her face. I'm sure she's very pretty, but Jack: we're eleven years old." Jamie points between him and Claude.

"How can a nose be cute?" Claude asks again.

Jack rolls his eyes. He stands up and grabs his staff. "Isn't it time to go home?"

Jamie stands up also, crossing his arms and staring up at Jack. "Aren't seventeen year old boys supposed to have a girlfriend?"

I laugh.

"Okay, that's not funny," He scolds me. Then he glares down at Jamie. "And I'm like three hundred years old."

"Then you should _really_ have a girlfriend, Jack."

"Jamie, go to sleep." He playfully shoves the boy, and Jamie grabs a handful of snow and throws it in Jack's face.

Jack is taken back by his action, and doesn't do anything at first. Then, as he tries to grab Jamie's collar, said boy helps Claude to his feet and runs away laughing. I can't help but laugh too. Soon enough, Jack joins me.

Claude looks around confused, before asking once again, "How can a nose be cute?!"

. . .

Jack kicks a pile of snow awkwardly. "So," He says.

"So," I repeat. I push a strand of loose hair behind my ear. "Those are some really nice kids." I smirk. He looks at me and gives a lopsided grin.

"Yeah, they can be really annoying. Jamie especially, but they come through in the end. And are some really good friends. Probably my only friends."

"What about the Guardians?" I duck to avoid a low branch.

"Don't get me wrong, they're there for me, but they just don't understand me,"

I keep walking beside him, but slow my pace. "What do you mean?"

"They're all about hard work. They know who they are, I'm just starting to find out. They are all grown up, but I'll always be a teenager. They are all serious, and have control. I'm just a lost cause that is too naive to take a hint. I knew I was different, I just didn't want my past life to affect any of it."

He stops walking when we get to a lake. The sceneary is beautiful. It's like a winter wonderland. Trees frame the edge of the frozen lake, and icicles hang off the branches. Snow rests in piles around the lake. Somehow, I feel his past and the lake are connected.

"What past?"

"You know, the life before this tragic immortal one." I nod my head in understanding. "If you were to judge how my past life had ended based on my personality, you'd be far from the truth." He laughs.

"What do you mean ended, Jack?" I tense up. I knew something was different about him.

"We went ice skating. It was turning Spring, in a couple of days, and the ice was starting to thin. We walked to the lake, and started skating. She did a spin, and then stopped. I had turned around and saw why she stopped." He over looked the lake before continuing, as if he were playing the moments in his mind.

"The ice was cracking, beneath her feet. And she was scared. I told her let's have fun, so I suggested hopscotch. So we played, and I grabbed my handy staff here, and pulled her off the thinned ice. She flew to the other side, and somehow in the moment, I ended up in the same hot water as her. I didn't know until I stood up, and we smiled, and I fell in."

"Jack, I'm sorry-"

"I promised her it was going to be alright. But it wasn't." He smiled and started to walk on top of the ice. "Enough of my sad past, how did the famous Spirit of Death, become, well, Death."

"It's a long story, actually." I said.

Jack looked into my eyes from across the ice. "I've got nothing but time."

He wanted to know. He wanted me to tell him everything.

So I do.

All of it.

Except who killed me.


	10. Chapter 8

"Wow," Jack murmued, once I was finished telling him. "That's, umm, that's-"

"Weird?" I asked, gliding my feet across the ice, keeping my arms outstretched to keep me balanced. He paused for a moment before replying.

"No, not at all."

I look up at him, and grin. "You hesitated,"

"What? No, I didn't."

"Sure, whatever you say," I rolled my eyes. "What did you expect? I'm the Spirit of Death."

"Yeah, I know. But I just thought that I was the only one who actually died." He ran his hands through his hair.

"Well, so did I," I stopped sliding. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" Jack used his staff and made more snow.

"That you had died, when you woke up?"

He bit his lip, and sighed. "No. All I saw was darkness. Then somehow, I was lifted out of the ice, and I saw the moon. Then I knew everything was okay. It was like, uh, I don't know how to describe it. But you kno-"

"I don't, actually. I knew when I woke up. How did you find out, though?"

He made a little rectangle with his hands. "A tooth box."

"Huh?"

Jack chuckled. "According to the Tooth Fairy, teeth hold the most precious memories. So I found my teeth from my old life, and saw. Did you know?"

"I told you I kne-"

"No. Did you know I had no heartbeat? No pulse. I don't breathe,"

I opened my mouth, but stopped. Now that I think about it, Jack doesn't have a heartbeat. And his chest doesn't move. I don't feel any life radiating off him. I skated toward him, then grabbed his arm. As I put my fingers on his wrist, I felt nothing. I let go of his arm, and grabbed his shoulder. Then I tried to find his pulse on his neck. Nothing again.

He smirked. "Told you."

I took a step back.

_"I know you miss him, but it's time too let him go," _

A tear slipped out her eye and she shakily replied, _"Never,"_

I shook my head and Jack pulled me out of my haze.

"So I have a question for you," Jack said, and grabbed my hand. Something screamed at me to pull away, but I let him. He rolled up the sleeve on my left arm. "I saw it when I first met you, but I didn't bring it up. Do you know who killed you?"

My eyes stared at the burn. It was the size of my hand, and I can still feel the sensation from when I had first got it.

"No," I muttered.

"Well, maybe it was a mistake."

I glare at him.

"It was no mistake."

"You don't know that,"

I look down. "Guess not."

I felt guilty about lying to Jack, but what other choice do I have? Telling the truth would make him look at me like I'm a kicked puppy, and lying only keeps a part hidden. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

"Probably just a harmless camp fire."

"Didn't seem harmless while I burned in it,"

"You okay?" Jack rolls the sleeve down to my wrist. "Seems like you know more than you're letting on,"

I pull my arm away. "I've never seen a fire where I lived. I'm just saying, maybe it wasn't an accident,"

"There's a first for everything, right, Hayley?" He jokes.

I sighed. "Jack, about the other day-"

"You were wrong you know," He cuts me off.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "About what?"

"You don't have to be alone. You just want too."

"No, I seriously have too."

"But why? Aren't you happy when someone keeps you company? I was alone for three hundred years and I would never let myself go back to that."

I looked down at my feet before whispering, "It's complicated."

"No, it's not. You make it seem like it is, but it's not, Hayley."

"It's just feels better when I keep to myself. That prevents any destruction, or-"

"Or what?"

Jack balances himself on one leg, and slides across the ice. I haven't notice he was ice skating this whole time. "Everyone I'm around, ends up getting hurt."

"Not everyone," He catches my eye and smiles. "I'm still here."

"For now,"

"I'm find it best to look at the present. Who's knows what's going to happen in the future-"

"Father Time," I mumble.

"Because maybe your little prediction might turn out wrong." Jack continues.

"Maybe it won't."

"You're really depressing, did you know that?"

"Gee, thanks. Because every teenaged girl wants another teenager to say that they are, in fact, depressing."

Jack laughed. "Sorry, but your mood is killing my fun vibe."

I roll my eyes. And, even though I scream at myself not too, smile.

I'm getting too attached. I can't let this go on. How could something be so wrong but feel so right? I mean, I know it's safer to stay away from Jack, but I feel a connection toward him. Like I was meant to be with him all along. Maybe being alone isn't the right answer, maybe Jack's right.

But, so many people have gotten hurt. And they didn't deserve to be. And it was all my fault.

Jack was about to open his mouth to say something, when I pointed out the sky. He gave me a confused look, and I said, "It's alive."

He looked up and saw the Northern Lights in the sky. Jack groaned and grabbed his staff.

"What's wrong?" I asked, still mesmerized by the show. "You don't like it?"

"No, I think the lights are actually quite nice," He runs his hands through his snow white hair. "But that's North's signal for the Guardians to stop what they are doing and have a meeting which is about him rambling on and on for he first half of all the 'naughty' things I've done in the past month."

"Oh." I looked at him and saw him looking at me. Jack flew closer so we were about a foot apart. He stuck out his hand, and I reached to grab it. But, something possessed me and I wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head in the crook of his neck and breathing in his scent. Jack was surprised by the action, and slowly snaked his free arm around my waist. I pulled away and gave a small smile. "Be back soon?"

"Uh," Jack was still dazed. 'Yeah. Of course." He turned around, and I awkwardly pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. He started to fly off the ground, but he looked back at me, and his head hit a tree branch. I cringed as Jack fell to he ice. "Im okay!" Jack reassured me. He rubbed his head and tried again, this time avoiding the branch.

I bit my lip from laughing as he almost flew into another tree.

As much as I hate to admit, I was falling for Jack Frost.


	11. Chapter 9

On a cold, spring night, I was alone once again. But I wasn't bothered by it. Somehow, the wind and darkness seems comforting. Most people don't realize how beautiful dark can be.

_"What's wrong?"_

She sniffled, before saying, _"She's gone."_

_"What?"_ He laughed, and as he saw her tear stained face, he stopped. _"No, no. That's not possible. You're lying."_

_"No, I-"_

_"You're lying!" _

_"No, she's gone. They're both gone. Jackson and Emma, are gone."_

I feel guilty. Even though, I had nothing at all to do with Jackson's death, I felt sorry for the two parents. But, as I rack my brain for more information, that memory is gone. And I don't know why.

They come and go as they please, and I'm so used to them. The girl, Emma, looks familiar, but I don't remember ever witnessing any of it. It's as if, they aren't my memories, but a sign. Or a warning.

One thing I do know, is its a puzzle just waiting to be solved.

Okay, so Jackson is Emma's brother, who died before her. . .

". . . _so stay away from the lake,"_

_"But I don't understand-"_

_"Normally, sisters wouldn't visit the place where their brother died."_

And he died in a lake. So she died shortly after him, for some reason.

I look up at the moon. "What are you trying to tell me?" I murmur. A blast of cold air sends shivers down my back, and I wrap my arms around myself. But I freeze.

Coldness.

Lake.

Death.

I close my eyes tigtly. "Oh my God," I breathe.

Before Jack died, he was Jackson.

Which means Emma is his sister. Which means she died. "And Jack has no idea," I finish, fluttering my eyes open as I get a sudden feeling of pure evil.

"Took you long enough to figure that out," I look up and see Pitch Black wearing a blank expression. He looks bored.

"You knew?" I say, more of a question then a statement. His golden eyes meet mine, and he chuckles.

"Of course I knew, darling. Surprised it took you this long to figure it out though. You're usually really smart,"

Pitch walks around me, and stops when I call, "What do you want?" He smirks and turns toward me.

"I want Jack Frost." I scrunch my nose in confusion.

"Wha-"

"He's powerful, Hayley. He just doesn't see it. The Guardians know what he's capable of. But they're afraid so they have to keep his true nature locked away, and they brainwash him with all that believer stuff and what not," He pauses, before continuing.

"And I think that you should going us,"

I almost laugh. "I'm not joining you, and I'm certainly not betraying Jack." I spat at him, before turning to walk away. Just as I'm about to teleport away, Pitch gives me some information, that I'm scared to find out.

"I'll tell him the truth,"

"What truth?"

"Now wouldn't you like to know?"

I bit my lip. "I want the truth but sometimes the truth hurts."

"But, it has to deal with you. And Frost Boy isn't going to like it. In fact, he might look at you as a monster if he finds out,"

"What truth, Pitch?" I shout over my shoulder.

"The real reason his sister died. It wasn't natural causes, Hayley."

I knew his next words before they come out of his mouth. _"It was you,"_

I suddenly appear in front of him, wrapping my hands around his neck. "You liar!" It comes put before I can stop it. Pitch Black is trying to manipulate me, that's all. I didn't kill anyine, let alone Jack's little sister.

"Am I?" He croaks, but grinning. "Just look at yourself," He has a point.

Slowly, I let go of him, shakily. He can't be right? Can he? I'm not a killer. I don't kill, I just Send. That's all. No, this isn't right. "You're lying," Tears form in my eyes.

"Shocking. But just see for yourself, I was there." Pitch holds out his hand, and I grab it, because I know, there's no way I'm a murderer. And this is the only thing to prove it.

_I teleported both me and Pitch in the middle of the woods, away from the Guardians that tried to 'prorect' the children. "I don't think they can find us here," I say, brushing non-existent dust off my cloak._

_"Don't be so sure," Pitch muttered, and I started at him, waiting for an explanation. "They have their ways." _

_"Well what's next? How can I prove I'm strong enough?" I ask, eager to move into the next level. Pitch told me I must prove I'm strong enough before he's certain we can over rule the Guardians. At first I thought it was insane, but I know better now. _

_"I don't know yet. You're my first recruitment so this whole training thing is new to me," Pitch looked around, his face filled with alert. _

_"What's wrong?" I asked. _

_"Someone is near," _

_"The Guardians?" _

_"No, humans," He said, a smile working it's way onto his face. _

_Pitch loved the humans. It's easy for him to rip away their hope, turn their dreams into nightmares. Their light into dark. I don't approve, but apparently it's helping them. I'm just a teenager, so how would I know better? _

_I see a flash of brown hair, running through the trees. It's a little girl, no older then thirteen years old. She frightened, which makes her easy prey. And I know exactly how to prove I'm really the Spirit of Death. _

_I smirk and look at Pitch. "Follow me, and don't interfere," My voice has a certain darkness to it, and I kind of like it. He nods, and I teleport after the girl._

_She stops to catch her breath, and I stand in front of her. The smirk stays plastered on my face, and I stare at her. _

_Her brown eyes are filled with worry, and she's scared. I close my eyes, but picture her standing. The mix of fear and concern in her eyes. I see a light in her, and it's bright, but right now unguarded. Perfect. _

_I imagine the light slowly exiting her body. I hear her breath hitch, and she falls to her knees. My eyes shoot open, and I feel a rush of adrenaline and evil run through me. She gasps for air, and I take the light out of her. Soon, she's on her back, her pulse fading away, along with any belief and hope she has. _

_I walk toward her. She looks at me, and I am shocked. She is the first person to see me. _

_"Thank you," She whispers, and smiles. Her smile disappears as her eyes roll to the back of her head. I look up and see Pitch Black staring down at the girl, before walking away._

I didn't want to do it, and no one forced me. My brilliant plan to prove my strength wasn't as easy as I thought. I frightened myself, and I hated myself for it. Why had I took a young girl's life? And why had I enjoyed it?

I'll tell you why, Pitch was right;

I am a murderer.

Which means I'm actually Death.

And that MiM lied to me.

But most important, Jack is in danger.


	12. Chapter 10

I sit on the steps, staring down at my clasped hands. "I'm sorry you had to remember this way Hayley." Pitch said.

"And I'm sorry you had to do that. I should've stopped you. And it might seem scary, but I can teach you to control it. To free from it-" He continues.

"How?" I let out a bitter laugh. "What power do you have to stop me?" I glare at him.

"None, but we can figure it out together-"

"If you think a memory is going to make me turn against Jack, you're mistaken, my friend."

"Well I'm sure he wouldn't be happy learning the truth,"

"That what, you're a monster?" I snap. "I'm sure he knows that."

"And you're no better."

My glare hardens. "Leave, now."

"We're not finished here-"

"I said leave!" I shout, and abruptly stand up. And the unthinkable happens.

As soon as I stood up, Pitch went flying backwards and hit a tree. He grunted and fell to the ground. I considered helping him, or turning away. "How did I. . ." I muttered to myself.

Pitch stood up with assistant of the tree, and leaned against it. He smirked and said, "Your powers are growing stronger. It's only a matter of time before they are out of your control, and your fear will swallow you. Join me, Hayley."

"No,"

"Fair enough," He walked toward me. "This isn't the last you'll see of me," Pitch disappears into his shadows, and fades into the darkness.

"Don't hurt him!" I scream.

Pitch Black chuckles and says, "I don't have too. You will," his voice echos, followed by a bitter laugh.

. . .

It's getting harder and harder to find him, considering Summer is a few weeks away. But you would think, this being his home town and all, he'll be here in his free time. I bite my lip. Jack does have another life. He's a Guardian for crying out loud. But still. . . I want him to be here. I _need_ him to be here.

"Jamie!" Someone screeches, and I wince. "Jamie!"

"What, Soph?"

My heads whips around, and I see a flash of brown hair. "Jamie!" I yelled relieved.

As soon as his name exits my mouth, I see a small blur of blonde whip their head in my direction.

"What wrong, Soph?" Jamie asked her.

I walk towards them, tugging on Jamie's arm, but my hand passes right through him. The little girl next to him, though, grabs my shirt, pulling on it. "What are you doing, Sophie?" Jamie asks her.

Sophie looks up at me with big green eyes, and I have to suppress a gasp. "Death," She said, her voice sweet as chocolate.

"What?" Jamie asked, bewildered.

Sophie turns to him, clapping her hands in excitement and pointing at me. "Death!"

"Tell him it's Hayley." I tell her. She turns to me and smiles. "The Spirit of Death."

"She says it's Hayley. The Sp-spi-sprit of death" Sophie struggles on the word 'Spirit'.

"The Spirit of Death?" Jamie asks her, and she shakes her head eagerly. He becomes alerted. "Is Mom okay?" He asks me, but looks directly at Sophie.

"Yes," I say.

Sophie smiles at me, absent-minded. I nod my head in Jamie's direction and reality slowly dawns down on her. "Oh! Yes, she says mommy is fine!"

"Then why is she here?" Jamie asked slowly.

"I need to know where Jack is," I tell Sophie, and she repeats it to Jamie.

"He's usually in the North Pole this time of year,"

"Santa!" Sophie squeals, and claps her hands.

"Then I have to wait until he gets back," I say out loud, just as Jamie asks Sophie is everything okay, but I'm already walking away.

"She's going away, Jamie!" Sophie says.

I kept walking until someone called my name.

I let out a sigh of relief and threw myself in Jack's arms. He stumbled backwards, but caught me nonetheless. He uses his staff to keep his balance, and wraps an arm around me. "Is something wrong?" Jack asked as I pulled back.

"No, just- nothing." I say, and fake a smile.

He's not convinced, but he still looks at Jamie and Sophie questionly. Jamie shrugs and Sophie squeals, running up to Jack and hugging his legs.

She giggles and breaks out into a smile, looking up at Jack. "Cold," Sophie laughs and shivers.

I grab Jack's wrist, but pull back quickly. Now that I think about it, he was always cold. I guess I was too selfish to notice. He laughs. "What did you expect from a white haired teenaged boy named Jack Frost?"

"Too be the controller of the sun and heat," Jamie says sarcastically.

"Lighten up, Jamie." Jack says.

"Yeah! Lighting up, Jamie!" Sophie mocks, and tackles her brother, catching him by surprise and they both fall to the ground in a fit of laughter.

Jack smiles at them, and somewhere along the way I do too. But as I glance at Jack I see his smile is happy, but his eyes are full of sorrow.

"You okay?" I ask quietly, breaking him out of his trance.

"Huh? Oh, yeah?" I give him a look and he sighs. "Actually, I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

Jack looks nervously at the kids. "Later," He says. "I want to enjoy the moment."

I nod understandly, and watch as Sophie grabs a handful of grass and throws it in Jamie's face.

. . .

"So how'd you find this place?" Jack asks, as I sit on the porch of the Abandon House. I shrug.

"I don't know. It was a long time ago, but I came across it and kind of made it my place, if that makes any sense. Kind of like your lake,"

"I like it," He sits next to me, resting his staff against the steps.

"So what did you need to talk about?" I ask after a moment of silence.

"Uh, the Guardians." At the mention of them I tense up. "I might have mentioned you and they got mad for some reason,"

"Well I am pretty ferocious," I joked, making a growling sound.

"Oh yeah, no doubt are you dangerous," Jack laughs. "But they seemed angrier then usual, and I began to wonder if there was some past between you and them? Of course, I would've asked them, but the state they were in, I decided against it."

"Look, Jack," I wiped my palms on my pants. "I'm not gonna lie to you, there is some tension between me and the Guardians, and I want to tell you, I do. It's just, I feel like today would be perfect if there was nothing to worry about-"

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me. I mean, there's still some things I haven't told you. I just wanted to know if there was something between you guys. That's all. No pressure, just a simple question."

Jack intertwines our hands, and I instantly feel the rush of coldness run through me, but I don't mind it. It feels wrong, but feels so right. "Do you ever wonder if things would've been easier if we weren't immortals?" Jack asks.

Read my mind, I want to say, but bite my tongue. "Maybe. I mean, I can think of things I'd rather be doing than draining the life out of people, but being immortal does have a few advantages,"

"Yeah, but if you could go back, and change one thing, would you?" I stare into blue eyes.

"Possibly, but some things are out of our control."

"You're right. It was stupid, anyway." He sighs.

"Jack-" I begin, but have no idea how to speak to that.

"Sorry, it's just, I can't stand not knowing things. It killed me when MiM wouldn't let me know who I was. I guess I just really want to know what ever happened to my sister. Did she miss me? Did she move on? Obviously she died, but how?"

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath.

"Jack. . . . . there's something I need to tell you,"

**(A/N) I am SO SORRY about the long wait. I just been so busy with school and studying and life and everything. But I made a promise to finish today. **

**I wrote a new story for the Divergent Trilogy called Scars Unseen. It might be a little intense for some, so. . . .yeah. **

**And please, please, PLEASE, I would appreciate any reviews. I would love to know how to make my writing better and some requests for future chapters. **

**-Julissa**


	13. Chapter 11

He looks over at me, expectantly. "Yeah?"

I try to tell him, I do. But it seems like the words get stuck in my thorat. My mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. And as I looked into his beautiful blue eyes, there was no way any confession was coming out of me.

"Umm, Sophie can see me." I blurt out, fast. And mentally kick myself for not telling the truth.

Jack grinned and said, "Well, there you have it. Soon children all over the world will believe in Death."

I gave a small smile, then stood up. "I have to go."

"Okay," Jack grabbed his staff and stood in front of me. "Well, I won't stop you."

He leans in, and softly presses his lips to my cheek. I feel a rush of coldness and shiver. Jack pulls back and smiles. And I can't help but smile back. He flies into the air, and disappears from my sight.

I know I'm hurting him. But the more I distance myself from him, the more my heart yells to get closer. I don't know who to listen too. Should I do the right thing, or what feels right?

The sun sets, and Manny should be coming out soon. Perfect.

We have much to dicuss.

. . .

"So, you probably know why I'm here," I start off, and place my hands on the windowsill.

"You lied to me," I whisper. "You lied to me." My voice grows stronger, but at the same time, it cracks.

_"I was trying to protect you,"_

A bitter laugh escapes my mouth. "So now you choose to talk to me? That's really pathetic. For the past- I lost count!- you had me feel like a lost cause, and now, when I accuse you of being a liar, you answer?"

_"You don't understand, Hayley."_

"You're right, I don't understand! Why did you lie?"

_"You told me to make you forget," _

"Forget what?"

_"That you killed Jack's sister." _

"Okau, but you could've told me I was able to kill, because I'm guessing I only said to make me forget about his sister!"

MiM doesn't answer.

"See?! I'm capable of killing, and it's a shame I had to find out from _Pitch Black _of all people!" I speak his name with venom.

_"I was trying to protect you,"_

"No," My head shakes back and forth. "You weren't. Because now, Jack is in danger. Because of me."

_"It's not your fault," _

"It has to be! I knew I was meant to stay alone, and yet, I let myself get attached!" The tears come like a waterfall, and I slide down the wall.

_"You don't have to be alon-"_

"Yes I do! And this is one of many reasons! I could _hurt _him! And I wouldn't be able to control it. You saw it yourself, my powers are growing,"

_"You can learn how to control it. It doesn't have to be this wa-"_

"Damn you!" I scream, slamming my fists on the wooden floor. "Damn everything! This isn't how it's supposed to be! It's not how it's supposed to be!" I sob uncontrollably. "Why did this happen to me?! Where did I go wrong?"

He doesn't speak, and I don't blame him.

I had as much pain as I can take, and now I broke.

"It's not fair! You you should've let me die! Why didn't you let me die?!" Nothing. "You did this to me! And I _hate_ you for it." I hiss.

_"I'm sorry,"_

I laugh hysterically. "You're sorry? That's all you have to say? How can you stand yourself?!"

_"What do you want me to say, Hayley?"_

"There's nothing left to say, Manny!" My voices rises. "I was a murderer and you kept it from me! How can I forgive you?"

_"You said you didn't want to remember-"_

"You knew me better than that!"

_"I wanted to make you feel better. . . ."_

The silence grows. All you can hear is the hooting of an owl in the distance, and the wind as it carries every word I scream thousands of miles away, never to be heard again. You can imagine people going about their business as I argue with MiM. I gulp.

"Oh yeah," I say quietly, calming myself down. "And how do you think I feel now?"

And as always, no response.

. . .

Maybe it's because I'm selfish. Which, there's no doubt I'm not.

Maybe it's because I've been through so much, and MiM put me through more.

Maybe it's because I long for company. For someone to tell me I'm worth it.

Maybe it's because I feel complete as Jack stands next to me, his cheerful glow radiating off him and affecting me. Because he's the only one that can make me smile and laugh.

But, there's not a good enough reason to why I get mixed emotions. I don't know who I'm hurting more, me or everyone else. All I know, when all this is over, I'm not the only in pain. And I'm sure as hell not going to put anyone through this. Not like my old life.

I've had a friend. Once. She told me. . . . _things._

Before I became Hayley Death, I wasn't a big believer. I thought Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all childish, and myths. But at the time, I seemed to grow up faster then the kids in my village. By the time I was eight, I would not send Christmas letters to North, that's just how it was.

But I remember, one day, I was walking with my friend, a year before I died. She told me something remarkable. And I had no words for it. So I asked, "Are you sure you weren't dreaming?"

"No," She shook her head. "It's true. I saw it-" we passed a group of boys snickering at her, and she stopped. "And they keep teasing me." She grumbled.

"Well," I began. "I mean, not everyone sees that in the dreams-"

"It _wasn't a dream_" She scolds.

"And certainly not fifteen year olds,"

But all she did was cross her arms and mumbled, "Forget it,"

I decided to let it go. She was always moody, I thought I wouldn't have been different from when she said that she saw black sand move along the dark. But I didn't know better, until she went missing a month later.

They said she died. But I don't believe that. I mean, obviously she's dead now, but I didn't think she was dead back then. And strangley, I still don't think she's dead.

And all this. . . just because she saw the Tooth Fairy fly across the sky.

**(A/N) Sorry it took so long. And sorry if I disappointed you by having Hayley not tell Jack what she did. **

**And, coincidently, I was listening to Pandora while writing this, and Christina Perri's song The Lonely came on. Haha... : p**

**Also, I'm running low on ideas and I would **_**really **_**appreciate any suggestions. But I thought about making Hayley's friend Ember, but I don't know. I feel I made her juggle too much surprises. **

**I'm learning to play the flute! (Sorry, random thought. . :). . .)**

**-Julissa**


	14. Chapter 12

It's summer.

"Hey," I look up, seeing Jack walk towards me, resting his staff against the tree I'm sitting at. He squats down to my level, and whispers, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just. . . _peachy."_

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

I don't say anything for a while. I try. But it seems like my brain went empty. "Jack, I need to tell you something." Finally, I say.

Jack stands up. "What is it?"

"I-I- uh, well, I don't- um - okay," I take a deep breath. "Remember how I had this crazy theory when we met, that I was better off alone?" He nods. "Well, what if it's true?"

"Not this again," Jack mutters, turning away and scoffing in disbelief.

"I've been trying to tell you. But I couldn't find the words-"

"No," He shakes his head. "Don't even say that. I don't want to have this argument again."

"It's not an argument. It's a fact." I stand up, walking toward him.

"I'm not going to go away, Hayley. When are you going to understand that?"

"When I find some proof that someone I'm around, is not in danger-"

"Here I am!" Jack shouts. "I'm the proof! I've known you for a few months, and I'm still here, Hayley!"

"I don't want to hurt you, Jack!"

"And you won't! Why do you have this idea that everyone you're around will go through pain?"

"Because it's true!" I cry.

"Stop it! I'm sick of you thinking that you're dangerous!"

"I'm trying to protect you!"

"There's nothing to protect me from!"

"From me, Jack!" I scream. "I need to protect you, from me."

"Why do you think you're dangerous?" His voice softens.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. My eyes shut, and I try to keep the tears from falling, but some escape. "I'm sorry. I was trying to prove I wasn't weak. I didn't mean to. I didn't know what I could do. And I'm sorry."

"What are you talking about?"

My head shakes, and my eyes shot open. "I can't. You need to forget about me. You have to leave before you get attached-"

"No," Jack takes a step forward, and grabs my hands. "No, don't you get it, Hayley? It's too late."

I knew the words before they came out of his mouth. I

_"I'm in love with you," _

He tilts my chin up, and softly, presses his lips to mine. Instantly, my whole body experiences a cold rush. Though, there's this unexpected warmth that fills me. And I realized, Jack has filled this void I've never knew existed. He's the one thing I'm scared to lose, but the one thing I know I have to let go?

. . .

After Jack pulled away from our kiss, I ran. Things were already complicated, and he made it harder. But I'm just as guilty. I'm so stupid. I should've stopped it.

But it felt so right

His cold lips on mine. His arm snaked around my waist, sending a blast of coldness through me, but filling my heart with a warm ache. It was an amazing feeling. A magical one. They say your first kiss is your best, and I don't disagree.

But nonetheless, I still ran. And I can still hear him calling my name, searching for me. Even though it was a fantastic gesture, he made things really hard. Isn't he the best?

"Hayley!" He yells catching my arm. I turn around, reluctantly.

"What?"

"Why are you running?" Jack pants.

"You complicated things, Jack! It was hard already!" I say, exasperated.

"What are talking about?" He scrunched up his nose in confusion.

"You kissed me, Jack! You freakin' kissed me!"

"Yeah, and did you hear why I did it?" He argues.

"That's another thing!"

"Please tell me you're not going to scold me for telling you I'm in love with you."

"That's exactly what I'm going to do!"

He rolls his eyes before saying, "So what? I told you how I felt. And I know you feel the same way," I don't say anything. "See?"

Jack slides his hands down my arm, and laces our fingers. For a moment we just stare at each other, enjoying the company. But I realize what I'm doing, and I step away, shaking my head. "No,"

"No, what?" Jack asks.

"I'm not going to do this."

He sighs. "Hayley, stop thinking you're dangerous."

"But I am." I argue.

"No you're not." He gives me a smile. "You're beautiful and remarkable and sweet and beautiful-"

"You already said that," I mumble.

"And fantastic."

"Jack, please just let me go." I whine.

"Why would I ever do that?" He asks, leaning closer.

"Because. . ." I forgot what I was going to say, and lean in too. My eyes close and I wait for the familiar feeling. "Because. . ." I whisper. His lips brush mine, and all is right with the world.

Until I hear a voice.

"Thought you died. Instead you're here making out with Jack freakin' Frost,"

_Ember._


	15. Chapter 13

She still looks the same.

Her bright clothes, her red hair, but it seemed more embers floated around her. That same, wicked smile is plastered on her face. And I can still see her as she set my house on fire when I close my eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I croak. Just the sight of her makes my knees feel weak.

"I could ask you the same thing," She says. "Thought you were dead."

"Wait," Jack says, shaking his head. "You told Ember that you died?"

"Not exa-" I begin, but Ember interjects.

"Oh, she didn't tell you? Well, Frosty the Snowman, I think Hayley might know more then she's letting on."

"What is she talking about?" Jack asks. I don't look at him.

"She is a good liar, so I'm not surprised. And you're not very bright, so. . ." Ember trails off, weaving a strand of her hair around her fingers.

Jack ignores her. "What is she talking about?" He grabs my hand, and I pull it away. "Hayley, tell me."

"It's complicated." I whisper.

"It actually isn't. If you think about it." Ember says.

I focus my glare on her. "Why do you want him to know so badly?"

"He has the right. To know both things actually,"

My heart drops. "How do you know?"

"I've been in touch with Pitch Black. We're not exactly friends, but if the other says your name, we won't kill each other."

It doesn't make any sense. Why would Ember want Jack to know she's a murderer? "This has nothing to do with you."

"But it does," She walks toward me, and I look up into her golden eyes. "It has everything to do with me. So either you can tell him, or I will. Your choice." Ember's expression turns serious.

When you get stuck, between a rock and a hard place, you're first instinct is to disappear. To get away from the problem as soon as possible. But you can't run from everything. You can hold onto the truth for as long as you can, but it always comes out. Even if you don't want it too.

Slowly, I turn to Jack. What once was a peaceful day, turn into the worst. "I lied." I simply said.

"About what?" He walks closer to me, staff in hand.

"Tell him, Hayley." Ember pushes on. "Tell him, or I will."

"I do know who killed me." My voice breaks. "I know who killed my mother, and who ended my mortal life."

His eyes avert from me, to Ember. Jack takes a step back, but just a small one. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not something you can just say,"

"I thought you trusted me." I can see the hurt in his eyes.

"Spending centuries alone ruins the ability to trust easily, Jack." Salt stings my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Tell him the other thing, Hayley." Ember demands.

"Shut up!" I yell at her.

"Hey, I'm not the one who messed up-"

"You're no better than me." I point out.

"You're right. But you will be worse if you don't tell him."

"Tell me what?" Jack asks. "There's more? Isn't there?"

Neither of us say anything. Finally, I say, "I didn't know what I was doing, Jack. But, just to let you know, if I could take it back, I would."

Ember takes a step back. She must be getting too cold in this environment. And standing close to Jack doesn't help.

"I was trying to prove I wasn't weak. I think I did. And I didn't tell you at first because I told MiM to make me forget-"

"Get to the point!" Ember yells.

"You're gonna hate me." I tell Jack.

"I will never hate you," He argues back.

I shake my head, and let a teardrop escape. "Trust me, you will. I know what happened to your sister, Jack. She didn't die because of natural causes. She was a wreck, after you died. Constantly argued with your parents, kept visiting your lake. Then one day, we came across each other." I choke on my own words. "An- and she thanked me, Jack. I don't know why. It was like she wanted to die-"

"Hayley, what are you saying?" He asks, but I think Jack has already caught on.

"I _killed_ her, Jack. _I killed Emma._"

He closes his eyes.

"I'm sorry-"

"No you're not." He says quietly, turning his back to me.

"Jack, I'm sorry!" A sob racks from my body, and I touch his shoulder. Jack yanks it from under my grasp.

"No, you're not!"

"Yes I am!" I shout. My throat aches.

"I'm not even that mad that you killed her. I'm mad that you didn't tell me-"

"It's not something you can just come out and say!"

"300 years, Hayley!" Jack screams at me. "300 years of only knowing my name. And when I finally think I know everyhing, I learn you've been keeping secrets from me this whole time?"

"You try admitting you're a murderer, Jack. It's not as easy as you think."

"You're right. But I would've told you because I trusted you!"

"At this point I don't know who to trust anymore!" Water drips down my face. "And in my defense, I told you to leave me alone."

"Yeah, maybe meeting you was a mistake."

That hurt.

It feels like you're heart breaks in two. Not even. Like everything is shattered into a million pieces, and no one can put it back together. That feeling, that just hurts, and there's nothing that can take the pain away. Nothing to make it feel better. Everything turns black, and you have no light left in you.

"Maybe it was," I whisper.

He doesn't say anything.

"Jack, I-"

"Just, don't." He holds up his hand and flies away.

My pain has turned to rage. I glare at Ember. "Get away from here," I warn. "And don't come back."

"Well, imagine how mad he would've been if you didn't tell him sooner. I did you a favor. I just want to help you."

"Like you did when you killed me? And my mom?"

"I didn't know Manny was going to-"

"Well he did, Ember! You should've never killed me! I don't care how bad my life seemed back then, it doesn't compare to right now!"

"Then you would've never met Jack. You would've never fallen in love. I didn't do it because I hated you, and I just wanted to see someone in pain-"

"Then why did you?" I lower my voice. "If you would've left me alone, I wouldn't be in this situation right now."

Her golden eyes soften. "You were alone, okay?"

My eyebrows furrow, and I ask, "What?"

"You were alone. Your best friend had died, your dad left. Your mom was a wreck. No matter what you say, you can't say you weren't alone."

"Well being alone for sixty years beats being alone for eternity." I turned my back on her.

"Listen to your heart, Hayley," Ember calls after me. "You know you don't want Jack to leave you alone. And don't let him go that easily."


	16. Chapter 14

Two days.

I haven't heard from Jack in two days. As far as I know, he hasn't visited Burgess after he stormed off the other day. That or he's really good at avoiding me. It's not like I hadn't tried to look for him. I did. But I could never find him. I asked Sophie, who asked Jamie, who suggested asking the Guardians, but I refused. Knowing Jack, he's probably with them.

I haven't been to his lake either. Now that he hates me, I don't think he'll appreciate me there. I don't blame him.

Ember stuck around for another day. She didn't do her job that day, so did it yesterday. I was over filled with joy by time she left. I don't think I could ever forgive her. But I know I'm the real monster. As much as I'd like to blame someone else for this mess, I can't.

I sighed, backing away from the window. I've spent these last few days alone in the abandon house, as it should be all the time. I was meant to be alone, but I could've help myself. It was the fact that I yearned for someone, that I didn't realize it was blowing up in flames in front of me. I was so blinded by what could be, I didn't realize what would be.

Salt stings my eyes, and I squeeze them shut. When you're losing it, most people would advise to take a deep breath. They don't consider the ones that can't breathe.

"Calm down," I tell myself, my voice shaking. "Everything is alright."

But it's not. I thought I had nothing to lose. Now look at me; I'm more messed up then I was before.

I've lost possibly my only friend. I've lost his trust. I don't think Jack even wants to see me. Why would he? I'm a lost cause, who wrecks everything. But I just want to fix it. How many times will it take for me to get it right? I've been given two chances, and I blew it. I know I want a third chance, but I know I'll blow that too.

I shiver as a rush of coldness past me.

"Jack," I whisper, and instantly teleport to his lake. Probably would've been more smarter to think about it, but I'm too stubborn.

And sure enough, he was there, standing in the middle of his lake, waiting for something. Or someone. Just as I'm about to reveal myself, Jack yells, "I'm here, Pitch!"

Frozen, I stepped back. What could Pitch possibly want. . . with. . . Jack. . . Oh, great.

Pitch knew he couldn't crack me, so he went after Jack. Who, as much as I hate to admit, doesn't consider the aftermath. This could end in two ways, bad or worse.

"Hayley?" Jack asks.

I scrunch my nose in confusion. How can he see me, I'm hiding behind the trees- _oh._

Since my feet don't connect to my brain, they decided to walk straight towards Jack. Stupid feet. Always messing things up. I find it irrational to blame my feet for my mistakes, but I guess it makes my feel a little better.

"Uh," I say.

"What are you doing here, _Hayley?"_

My heart sinks. It's not the fact that he hates me, it's the fact that he speaks my name with venom, as if I'm the worst person in the world; which could be true. "I-I- I'm sorry." was all I could say.

"I know. Do you mind leaving, I'm busy." He turns his back toward me.

"Jack, why are you meeting with Pitch?" The words come out before I can even stop them.

"That's non of your concern." Jack answers back harshly.

"Is he trying to recruit you?" I push on. "Or ask for an allience?"

"This has nothing to do with you." His voice is as sharp as a knife. It makes me flinch. Never would Jack speak to anyone like that.

"Don't listen to him. He will just use you for evil, Jack. He'll say it's too help the children but he'll manipulate you-"

"Don't talk to me! You have the nerve to lie to my face then act like you care about me-"

"Because I do!" I cry.

"No, you don't! Why would you show up, anyway?"

"I don't know! I honestly don't know. I thought I learned my lesson but I still push on!" Tears fall, but I beg them to stop. "I keep telling myself that I'm meant to be alone, and I am! But ever since I've met you, it seems my heart and my brain don't agree anymore."

"You're just saying that," Jack says quietly, not meeting my eyes.

"I don't think I am, Jack. Because," I close usthe distance between us, but still give him space. "Because I think I love you too,"

Finally, he looks at me, and I prepare for the worst.

**(A/N) Sorry I haven't updated, a lot of stuff has been going on. **

**If you haven't realized, it's Self-harm Awareness Day. And I've known a lot of people who use(d) self harm to resort to pain. I wrote a one-shot and I highly suggest you give it a shot. I'm not saying that because I want more followers or anything, but because this is a real problem. It's a growing epidemic and I want to help. **

**Stay Strong; you're worth it**

**3lovbooks005**


	17. Chapter 15

Have you ever had that feeling, that you're drowing? And you keep going deeper and deeper, and no one can save you. It's like, you're blinded, but you know there's no escape. All there is is darkness.

That's what I felt for most of my immortal life.

But then, I met Jack. And he seemed to take that feeling, and morph it into something different. A feeling that unfortunately I am unable to describe. All I can say, is it made me realize, "Maybe this life isn't so bad after all."

But, as I stand here, waiting for his reply, I start to feel that feeling that is most familiar: The one I've known longer.

And since, I couldn't stand the silence any longer, I whispered, "Well? Say something,"

Let's just say, I didn't expect him to laugh.

"You think?" Jack scoffed, but his tone had something harsh to it. I opened my mouth to interject, but he cut me off. "No, Hayley. Don't bother. I tell you, that I love you and you _think _you feel the same?"

"What do you expect me to do, lie? At least I'm being honest-"

"Yeah, real nice time to start telling the truth."

I gulp. I knew he wasn't going to be over it by now but I would've thought he wouldn't have the decency to use my mistakes as a weapon against me. "How many times do I have to apologize?" I say quietly, averting my gaze downward.

"I don't want an apology. I want you to make things right."

Jack turns around. For a second I think of just letting him go. I mean, they say if you love something, to let it go. Right? But they also don't mention that it's hard. And somehow, miraculously, I find the will to stop him.

"How am I supposed to do that?" I shout at him. "I messed up, I know that. Big time. But as much as I am willingly to do it, I can't change the past. And the worst part is I'm already guilty as is, but you're making it worse!"

"Well maybe, you need to open you're eyes!" He whips around angrily, marching toward me. At first, I feel intimidated. Bu the fact that he's yelling at me, to do something I can't do, makes me angry. "You think I'm angry that you killed my sister," I cringe as he reminds me. "Or that you didn't trust me enough to tell me Ember killed you," Again, I wince as I recall the death of my mortal life.

"And you're not wrong. I am. And I would've easily forgiven you after some time to think, if you realized what I'm really mad about."

"Then tell me. Because I obviously have no clue." I step closer to him.

"How long was I alone, Hayley?" Jack hints, and as I gaze into them, I see anger in his beautiful blue eyes.

Because I truly don't know, I shurg. It might not have been the most appropriate thing to do at this moment. Given the fact an angry Jack Frost is yelling at me and has the ability to freeze me in a flash.

He sighs- obviously disappointed in my selfishness - but continues, "300 years."

I try to think what this has to deal with our arguement, and I feel ashamed. Though I didn't know Jack that long, I should be able to use the things he trusted me with and piece them together. I mean, if Jack can realize something that is apparently obvious before me, I must have my eyes closed.

Not that I think he's stupid. Because he's not. Jack is smarter than people give him credit for. But he thinks that everything is a game and tries to turn everything serious to fun. That's why I'm surprised- even though this is very serious- he knows a way to fix this.

"300 years of not knowing anything, but my name."

I feel like I should slap myself; I know where he's going.

"MiM kept everything that I should've known from me. And to top it all off, nobody could see me. So it was like I didn't exist."

"Jack, stop-"

"Then I become a Guardian and meet Jamie. And you,"

Our eyes meet. Blue touches grey.

"And I thought all the secrets would end. That I didn't have to live without knowing anymore. But you kept the most important secrets from me, Hayley. And I don't think you understand how much that hurts.

"So I waited, for you to know what you should really apologize for. Can't believe I actually had to tell you."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Me too,"

Jack, once again, begins to walk away.

I honestly believe I should let him.

**(A/N) I know this isn't good, but I had to do something for you guys.**

**R&R**

**-Julissa**


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